Let's be honest here, dudes. We're absolutely screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We drink too much. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're headed for a wall.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and actually did something about it?

“Two. Designed for Your Pleasure"

You guys know about this, right? This is the real deal, the kind of shit that gets your blood pumping. No room for wimps here, only those who want it all. We're talking about getting down and feeling every inch of the experience.

• Dump that boring stuff you’ve been doing.
• This where the real excitement is.
• Feel what you deserve: a wild, powerful trip.

We're not begging. We’re just telling you the deal.

Guys: Dude Fuck This chick Fucking Tonight

Look, I'm not Faking it. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Satisfaction. Don't Delay around with BS, just Make love to me already. I'm Wet and waiting for you to Tear this place up.

Don't be a chicken, I know you want to.

Help! These Assholes {Want to Fuck Me|Are Trying To Get In My Pants

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Read a Room. I've been trying to Be Firm, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Won't Leave Me Alone . It's getting {ReallyAnnoying.

• I Really Need To Talk to My Landlord About This.
• Dude, Please| This is getting Out of Hand.

Honestly, I just want to Go About My Day in Quiet! Is that too much to ask?

Bro's crank Straight up Lit

Tonight, we're gonna make it rain. I'm talking about a night you won't forget. We gotta raise hell and live it up. I've got {a playlist on fire|some banging tunes that will make you lose your mind.

We're taking over the here place all night long. So, are you ready to get down??

Let's make this a story we tell for years.

Fuck It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• Beer solves everything, right?
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.